Sunday, December 11, 2011

How to cut a head of lettuce so you don't get huge chunks that you can't fit in your mouth

Okay, so aside from having the world's longest blog post title, this might sound totally patronizing, too.  It's your lucky day!  I'm going to show you how to cut a head of lettuce.   For those of you who buy the bagged lettuce (can you say RIPPP  OFFFF?!), listen up!  You need this! You will save a lot of cash this way.

Start with a head of lettuce from Aldi's (anywhere from .25c to 99c on any given day), a cutting board and a knife.   I'm using a lettuce knife.   I've heard you should never cut lettuce with a metal knife because it turns the lettuce brown at the edges. Guess what?  It does the same thing with the plastic knife.  Sure wish I had that $4.99 back.  A head of lettuce should be hand-torn in order to avoid 'rust'.  I was a "Salad Wench" at Grandmothers restaurant as a teenager.  I know these things.

Find the rattiest looking head of lettuce that you can.  
This is apparently what I did because this thing is sad looking!
Anyway, you see that rusty core at the bottom?  
We are going to remove that the easy way.
Hold the head of lettuce in your hand like a basketball 
and SMACK that core straight downward on the edge of the sink HARD.  
This is the way they did it in the restaurant!  Really!
Pull the core out from the center and discard.  
See how little waste there was?
Pull off the icky outer leaves.  I always pick off the 
rusty, thick bottom pieces from the remaining good leaves, too.
Cut head into quarters.   How is it that I managed
to pick the one head of lettuce that is retarded 
and won't sit up straight for a picture?  LOL!
I turn one section over at a time and cut that wedge in half length-wise.
Then I turn it sideways and cut both wedges into one inch sections.
I do this because I HATE HATE HATE getting huge pieces of lettuce
in my salad that I cannot possibly fit into my mouth.
Fill your salad spinner with water and toss in the leaves.
I usually clean them at least twice.  I just shove the lettuce
down and run my hands through it a few times to make sure
to get out any bugs/dirt.  Man, you shoulda seen the GROSS
things that came in those big boxes of lettuce at the restaurant!
Once it's very clean, I add fresh, clean water and a handful 
of ice.  I then put my lettuce in there for at least 10 minutes.
Makes it nice and cold and crisp.  Didn't take a pic of that, 
but here's the ice, lol!
Then, of course, I spin the lettuce.  I do it three times to get all of the water out.
After serving up what we needed for supper, 
I put the leftovers in a gallon baggie with a paper towel folded up.
This will wick away any excess water.
I then fold it over to get out as much air as I can.
And if I'm feeling particularly anal, I'll roll the baggie and squish 
all the excess air out of that small hole you see above ^, then quickly 
zip shut. Then it looks like this. It does kinda bruise the lettuce,
so I wouldn't do it if we were expecting company.  
Not that we ever do.  No one likes us.
Serve this up with some homemade Ranch Dressing

This will stay nice in the fridge for a few days, just as long as the pre-washed bagged kind.  But this will give you two to three times as much at ONE THIRD the price!  It really doesn't take that long to do.  Besides, being the weirdo that I am, I always washed the pre-washed stuff anyway, LOL!  I think it has such a weird taste to it.  I never buy it anymore.

Hey, want a hint at how to pick a nice head of lettuce without all the bitter yellow stuff on the inside?  Choose the LIGHTEST  head (weight-wise) in the bunch.  It will have the least bit of yellow lettuce in the center and you'll get just as much lettuce as a heavier head.  How do I know?  You learn a few things whacking thousands of lettuce heads against a sink! 

1 comment:

  1. Oh knew?? This is a wonderful tutorial and will refer to it often, thanks!

    ReplyDelete